Only means more friends for you!
And who the heck doesn’t want more friends?
But there is one area in which I actually believe women (and probably a few men as well) are really dropping the ball.
Many years ago I had lunch with a guy…ok, so it was sort of a blind date. Much like meeting someone online except at the time there was no online to go to. Anyway we had a lunch date and honestly it was really fun. The dude made me laugh, made me think, made me get out of my comfort zone. Plus he was really nice eye-candy.
But…we both knew almost immediately that there was never going to be a romantic sitatuon between us…as in ever. Not sure how we knew it but we did.
And you know what?
That was perfectly alright.
But when I went to work the next day all the gals in the office wanted to know how it went. So I was totally honest and told them what a great guy he was (and that was the honest to goodness truth) but that the chemistry wasn’t there. But then I went on to say that we agreed to see each other again but just as friends.
OMG…it was almost like saying the guy was an ax murderer but I fell in love with him anyway!
None of the gals could understand why on earth I would want to be friends with this guy. I mean really, we weren’t going to sleep together, we weren’t going to have a serious relationship or any other type of romantic relationship so why on earth would I want to be friends with him?
Well I could think of several.
One was that he was (actually still is) a really cool dude. He was funny, intelligent, kind and again really good looking. So what wasn’t to like?
But the other reason to remain friends with him was one that I comment to my friends a lot about. And that is this dude was single. Do you honestly believe that all his friends are married and that he doesn’t have any single male friends? Good grief! Most single people have friends that are also single. And…most people tend to be friends with others that are pretty much like them. So in this case I had to think that most of his friends would be funny, intelligent and very caring and kind.
And boy oh boy…was I ever right!
You see about a month or so after meeting him I was invited to a party that he threw. I spent quite a bit of time talking with one man in particular (ok, never just him alone). The next day my friend called and suggested that I meet he and his friends for a drink after work on Friday. Which of course I did. And naturally the man I had been talking to at the party was there. He had specifically asked my friend to invite me to have drinks with them so he could get to know me better. Not only did I end up in a 3.5 year relationship but I also met some other really cool folks.
Basically the thing is that not everyone you go out with is going to be “the one” or even close to being the one. But that doesn’t make them bad people…it just means that there was no chemistry or as a friend puts it…there were no butterflies! But that most certainly doesn’t mean that you can’t be friends…and perhaps even meet some of his friends! Or you could introduce him to some of your friends.
Now really…doesn’t that make just a bit of sense?
Of course if the guy is a jerk, a slob or yes even an ax murderer you might just want to walk away and not worry too much about those friends of his!
Have you ever met someone that you ended up in a relationship with or just a really good friendship with that you met through someone else? Would love to hear your story.