Yes, it was 29 years ago on this date (December 3) that I truly became single!
For the twelve or so years prior to that I had considered myself to be single. But little did I realize the difference a day could make!
You see I was a single parent which meant that I still had responsibilities that were determined by another human being. I still had someone living under my roof.
But the day he got married…well that is the day I celebrate my true singlehood.
I didn’t at the time, as I did not truly understand the differences between being single and being a single parent.
Being single (or solo as I like to call it) means that you have the independence to make decisions strictly for you. There is no one else that you have to consider any more as you did as a parent.
This means you cook dinner when you want to, or more specifically if you want to. Or if you prefer you take yourself out to dinner.
It means that if you are running late getting home you do not have to let anyone else know that. In fact if you don’t want to go straight home you don’t have to.
Being truly single means that you can make those last minute decisions to go on that trip, to go meet your friends, to just stay home and you never, ever have to consult anyone else.
Yes, being solo and living solo certainly has it’s drawback as well.
- No one to help with the bills
- No one to yell at to take out the garbage
- No one to reach that super high cabinet
For me however, the good parts of being solo certainly outweigh the bad. Because really those are the only three things I could think of.
I have many friends, and of course my son, who have truly wonderful marriages and I celebrate them. And I am so very thankful that none of them try to tell me that I am missing out by staying single. It appears they have accepted my choice (or maybe don’t really care) to remain single the rest of my life.
Unfortunately in this country (the US) as well as many others around the world single people are looked down upon and continue to be discriminated against in many subtle (and some not so subtle) ways.
Even with that, however, I will always cherish my solohood. It is me. It is who I am.
While I may be alone, rest assured that I am not lonely.