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Marriage is NOT for everyone but neither is Singlehood

 

Marriage is great for some people but certainly not for everyone.

Are we not all individuals?

With different needs, different desires, different lives and lifestyles.

The truth of the matter is that while in many respects we are very much the same as everyone else we are also extremely different.

And I feel most believe that as well.

And yet…

We continue to see the same propaganda over and over and over.

The same ads telling us if we wear this perfume, that deodorant, or this makeup you will find the person of your dreams and all will be wonderful in the world.

We continue to see over and over and over articles stating this study or that study showing that married people are happier than single people. But how can this possibly be measured accurately? And in fact those studies have been debunked.

We, as a society, continue to push marriage as the only lifestyle in which you will be truly happy.

Well I’m here to tell you that is total bunk! (LOL…I’ve always wanted to use that word!) In fact there are many adults within our society that prefer to live alone and do so quite happily.

Just as we have finally begun to let our little girls know that it is perfectly alright (and desired) to be strong we must also begin to let them know that it is also perfectly alright to not get married. Oh and yes, this goes for little boys as well.

I was talking with a few people the other day all of whom have been under a great deal of stress in the past few weeks. When asked if everything was alright the kid (ok, so he is 36 years old) started in and mentioned that he felt something was wrong with him since he wasn’t married and he should be.

Why the hell should he feel bad about not being married? My goodness he had a great life, was dating a gal that he really enjoyed being around, doing a job that he loved (mostly), had a great group of friends and was doing some really positive volunteer work.

There was absolutely nothing wrong with him and yet here he was feeling broken.

There was no reason for him to feel this way except that he had heard his entire life that to be a happy adult one must marry and have children. He is most certainly not the only one. There are many singles in this world that feel the strains of being single in a coupled world.

Those in the single world are constantly being told how lonely we are and that once we couple up we will be so much happier. And yet that is so not true. Yes, it is true that there truly are some wonderful marriages out there. There is no denying that. But we all know there are also some pretty crappy marriages as well. In other words not everyone that is married is all that happy and perhaps they would be better off being single.

After all we are all individuals

Let’s change the conversation of how adulating should look. Perhaps we could start teaching our children how important it is to be good people. To show kindness to others, especially those that may not have as much as they do; to help in whatever ways they can when needed; to follow where their hearts lead them whether it be work or travel or yes even marriage.

There is nothing wrong with marriage but we must also remember there is nothing wrong with singlehood either.

Joyfully yours,
Kendra

 

Get it here - The Joyfully Solo Life - with tips and tricks!

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