People, those both close to us as well as those we barely even know have been known to ask this question that most single people hate!
I have always been comfortable being single, though admittedly early on (as in very, very early on) I was one of those that felt as though I should remarry – yet again. I knew, even then, that marriage really wasn’t in my makeup. So honestly, I’m not exactly sure where that feeling originated. Even back then, though, I absolutely hated that one question. Yep, you know the one.
I suppose it could easily have been my feeling as to what society believed was right.
There were certainly times – many in fact – way back then in which I would be asked if I had met anyone yet. “Anyone” as in an eligible man.
Well actually I had. I had met plenty of eligible men that I’m sure would have made wonderful husbands. For someone else that is! And many that would not have made good husbands for anyone!
I recall that I began respond that I was not “marriage material” and I suppose in a way I believed that.
But it is not so much the “marriage material” that I am not but more to the fact that I just simply don’t enjoy living with someone – anyone.
I do, however, very much enjoy living with myself
And frankly I enjoy being single.
You see I have no problem being alone with me. And when I get tired of me I can certainly go out and meet with friends who hopefully are not yet tired of me. There is a freedom of living the single life that would be terribly difficult to give up.
I feel terribly lucky though that through the years the question of whether or not I have met that “nice man” has pretty much stopped coming my way.
I have to wonder…
Did that question stop because of my age?
Or is it that I happen to live in an area that has finally learned to accept that we are all different and there is nothing wrong with being single?
There are people worldwide I know that continue to get this question (and yes, it is both men and women) and I have to wonder if it is because of the culture in which they live or is it purely an age related question. Many cultures continue to look at people over 30 (or some other set age) in such derogatory manners if they are not yet married and with children. They appear to be unaccepting of those that wish – for whatever reason – to remain single.
Frankly I feel the question of “have you met the perfect someone yet” is just as rude and obnoxious as questioning a married couple when they plan to start a family. Both questions are extremely personal and truly they are no one else’s business.
There is nothing wrong with traditional marriage. In fact the world needs for people to marry and have children and keep many things going in the traditional manner. And honestly I know many people who are happily married.
At the same time, though there is absolutely nothing wrong with those of us that choose to live any type of non-traditional lifestyle. This includes those of us that wish to remain single.
If you get those questions of why you are still single or have you met anyone yet; or if you hear these questions being asked of anyone else let’s take some time and ask first of the person asking the question why it is so important that everyone marry (or at least be part of a couple). And secondly why do they feel it is their business to know the answers to those questions. Thirdly we could start educating those individuals who believe everyone should be coupled (preferably married) as to why that lifestyle is not for everyone.